I think that a few people think that I am just sailing through this transition like a hot knife through butter. Well I must admit that although most days are great, there are a few days here and there that are really tough!
On the tough days, I feel sad, emotional, frustrated, out of sorts/control, and just a jumble of nerves/edgy! I start questioning our decision to make this leap out into the world. There are so many things that we had to sacrifice (all of us, not just me) to do this. Clint has been so patient with me and has reassured me that I am responding normally. He said that he went through the same thing 9 months ago, but he didn't have anyone to see him go through it. I am sadden by that. He shared it with me some through our Skype conversations but it just isn't the same as having the person you care about the most to be there at your side. So I am thankful, that he is here with me.
I hate it when I start feeling all out of sorts... I know that is normal but it makes me irritated that I can't control it more. When I start feeling like this, it makes me so emotional.... It makes me cry and get choked up, and I have always hated that response from myself. I have always thought that it made me look weak. Don't judge, that is my perception of myself and my emotional responses to things. Now if I was trying to help someone else, I would be telling them, that it is perfectly normal and ok to feel that way and to respond with tears. Why I can't cut myself some slack, I don't know!
Here is my problem right now... since everyone else seems to be clicking right along and doing well with this transition, why can't I? Please don't misunderstand.... I am having fun and enjoying so many things, but there are some things that can't be replaced that I am so worried about having left behind. Yes, I miss my family and friends, and that is party of my homesickness but the main thing that I have struggled with is the change of plans for our way of life. As Clint keeps reminding me, it is only temporary. All those things that we love about our country way of life in Texas, will be there when we get back. They are just on hold....
So if you are praying for us, just keep on praying. Add a little extra in there for me! I am not miserable, just missing some things and people that I really enjoyed back home and that I love. God has a plan, I know He does. One of my best friends gave me a cross as a going away present that says, We walk by Faith, not by sight! It hangs on the wall over my makeup table and I look at multiple times each day! I am hanging on to those words.... I am keeping the Faith! God is walking with us, beside us, and before us!
On the tough days, I feel sad, emotional, frustrated, out of sorts/control, and just a jumble of nerves/edgy! I start questioning our decision to make this leap out into the world. There are so many things that we had to sacrifice (all of us, not just me) to do this. Clint has been so patient with me and has reassured me that I am responding normally. He said that he went through the same thing 9 months ago, but he didn't have anyone to see him go through it. I am sadden by that. He shared it with me some through our Skype conversations but it just isn't the same as having the person you care about the most to be there at your side. So I am thankful, that he is here with me.
I hate it when I start feeling all out of sorts... I know that is normal but it makes me irritated that I can't control it more. When I start feeling like this, it makes me so emotional.... It makes me cry and get choked up, and I have always hated that response from myself. I have always thought that it made me look weak. Don't judge, that is my perception of myself and my emotional responses to things. Now if I was trying to help someone else, I would be telling them, that it is perfectly normal and ok to feel that way and to respond with tears. Why I can't cut myself some slack, I don't know!
Here is my problem right now... since everyone else seems to be clicking right along and doing well with this transition, why can't I? Please don't misunderstand.... I am having fun and enjoying so many things, but there are some things that can't be replaced that I am so worried about having left behind. Yes, I miss my family and friends, and that is party of my homesickness but the main thing that I have struggled with is the change of plans for our way of life. As Clint keeps reminding me, it is only temporary. All those things that we love about our country way of life in Texas, will be there when we get back. They are just on hold....
So if you are praying for us, just keep on praying. Add a little extra in there for me! I am not miserable, just missing some things and people that I really enjoyed back home and that I love. God has a plan, I know He does. One of my best friends gave me a cross as a going away present that says, We walk by Faith, not by sight! It hangs on the wall over my makeup table and I look at multiple times each day! I am hanging on to those words.... I am keeping the Faith! God is walking with us, beside us, and before us!
