Sometimes it is hard to see the blessings that we have in our lives because we are too busy focusing on the things we are disappointed about it.
I will admit that this has been my exact perception and attitude over the past week about my new teaching position. Is it my dream job? NO... Do I wake up on-fire about it? NO.... Do I feel like I am the best person for the job? NO... Well here's the deal---although it is not my dream job and I am not waking up extremely excited about starting a new day in this position where I feel like I am completely not the best person for the job, obviously there is a reason that I have the job. I have always stated to others that have been in tough situations that God always has a reason for the things that happen in our lives. Giving others advice and support is so much easier than pumping yourself up.
Clint and I decided that if we wanted to reach a few goals that would impact our family's future, then I would need to work during our time here in the Land of Sand. We had originally planned for me to be a stay-at-home mom, but that wasn't going to help us reach our goal of building a home and creating the home place we both wanted back in Alto. So I found a teaching position. A position that involves me teaching in an environment and a grade level that I have never taught in before....OH MY! I even told the people during my interview, after hearing about the details of the position, that I did not feel qualified! Yet, despite my complete honesty and upfront approach, they still wanted to hire me. They told me that just from my interview, they could tell that I was a person of character and they knew that I could handle the job! Ok, so on one hand...Thanks for the compliment, right? Yes, most definitely! On the other hand I am thinking....these people must really need to fill this position!!
I have doubted myself from day one of this position. I have prayed each day that I would make a positive impact in some way. I spent the first week of the job crying every evening. I was pitiful, and so depressed that Clint was worried about me. He even told me to quit on more than one occasion. He said he had never seen me that sad... I told him I would be fine. I just needed to find my big girl panties and deal with it.
Well Thursday evening rolled around and after a week of crying and just feeling utterly lost and down, I decided that I needed to pull those big girl panties up even higher and get my head in the game. So it wasn't the job of my dreams..... So I didn't feel qualified.... Oh well... I needed to stop looking at all the negatives and focus on the blessings! So here are the blessings that I wasn't acknowledging at first...
1. God knew about our plan and goals, and within days of posting my resume with multiple schools, I had an interview....make that 2 interviews.
2. After talking to another lady about the process of how to become a teacher here, finding out about all the paperwork that had to be processed by the USA and the UAE governments, and that it had taken her 3 months to get everything completed, all of this, by the time my documentation has been completely processed, will have taken about 1 month to complete.
3. Although I do not feel exactly qualified to do what I am doing, my students are making progress. Small steps of improvement, but all the same that is progress.
4. My husband has stood by my side, held my hand, provided love and support, and given wonderful advice throughout my pitiful depressive beginning phase of this new adventure. I could not do this without him!
5. I am blessed with handsome, smart children that do not have the delays that other children have.
6. I am helping children that need help.
7. I have also had several of my former students, that are all grown and starting families of their own, contact me and tell me how good of a teacher I am, and that I will do great! (Really meant a lot to me!)
So, although the negatives are still looming over my shoulder, I am trying to remain focused on the blessings. I am trying to learn whatever lessons God may want me to learn from this position, and I am trying to take my own advice that I have given to others multiple times.... God will not lead you to it without bringing you through it!
I will admit that this has been my exact perception and attitude over the past week about my new teaching position. Is it my dream job? NO... Do I wake up on-fire about it? NO.... Do I feel like I am the best person for the job? NO... Well here's the deal---although it is not my dream job and I am not waking up extremely excited about starting a new day in this position where I feel like I am completely not the best person for the job, obviously there is a reason that I have the job. I have always stated to others that have been in tough situations that God always has a reason for the things that happen in our lives. Giving others advice and support is so much easier than pumping yourself up.
Clint and I decided that if we wanted to reach a few goals that would impact our family's future, then I would need to work during our time here in the Land of Sand. We had originally planned for me to be a stay-at-home mom, but that wasn't going to help us reach our goal of building a home and creating the home place we both wanted back in Alto. So I found a teaching position. A position that involves me teaching in an environment and a grade level that I have never taught in before....OH MY! I even told the people during my interview, after hearing about the details of the position, that I did not feel qualified! Yet, despite my complete honesty and upfront approach, they still wanted to hire me. They told me that just from my interview, they could tell that I was a person of character and they knew that I could handle the job! Ok, so on one hand...Thanks for the compliment, right? Yes, most definitely! On the other hand I am thinking....these people must really need to fill this position!!
I have doubted myself from day one of this position. I have prayed each day that I would make a positive impact in some way. I spent the first week of the job crying every evening. I was pitiful, and so depressed that Clint was worried about me. He even told me to quit on more than one occasion. He said he had never seen me that sad... I told him I would be fine. I just needed to find my big girl panties and deal with it.
Well Thursday evening rolled around and after a week of crying and just feeling utterly lost and down, I decided that I needed to pull those big girl panties up even higher and get my head in the game. So it wasn't the job of my dreams..... So I didn't feel qualified.... Oh well... I needed to stop looking at all the negatives and focus on the blessings! So here are the blessings that I wasn't acknowledging at first...
1. God knew about our plan and goals, and within days of posting my resume with multiple schools, I had an interview....make that 2 interviews.
2. After talking to another lady about the process of how to become a teacher here, finding out about all the paperwork that had to be processed by the USA and the UAE governments, and that it had taken her 3 months to get everything completed, all of this, by the time my documentation has been completely processed, will have taken about 1 month to complete.
3. Although I do not feel exactly qualified to do what I am doing, my students are making progress. Small steps of improvement, but all the same that is progress.
4. My husband has stood by my side, held my hand, provided love and support, and given wonderful advice throughout my pitiful depressive beginning phase of this new adventure. I could not do this without him!
5. I am blessed with handsome, smart children that do not have the delays that other children have.
6. I am helping children that need help.
7. I have also had several of my former students, that are all grown and starting families of their own, contact me and tell me how good of a teacher I am, and that I will do great! (Really meant a lot to me!)
So, although the negatives are still looming over my shoulder, I am trying to remain focused on the blessings. I am trying to learn whatever lessons God may want me to learn from this position, and I am trying to take my own advice that I have given to others multiple times.... God will not lead you to it without bringing you through it!
